Artix Krieger | Saturday, December 31, 2016
It is quiet and the lights are dim here at the Secret Underground Lab... *whispers* You know, where we make AdventureQuest 3D. I sent a text message to Cysero asking him for help writing the 2017 New Year's post. He said he would be right in. Like one of our most famous design notes, I wrote everything that was said and happened down… >_>
*Cysero walks in*
Cysero: I’m the Ghost of New Year’s email.
Artix: You know I’m an undead slayer, right?
Cysero: You wha?
Artix: Paladins… slayer of the undead… you know, with the Pomeranian.
Cysero: *eats a cookie*
Artix: We gonna write this thing?
Cysero: *chews happily*
Artix: So… I think we should talk about all the good stuff we are going to do in 2017 instead of all of the bad things that happened in 2016.
Cysero: You got some blood in your ear.
Artix: Metaphorically or literally?
Cysero: No, literally.
Artix: I have no idea why…
Cysero: Don’t worry about it. We’ll take care of it when you're asleep.
Cysero: Just like when we put it in.
Artix: *slowly turns head and looks at Cysero*
Artix: Uh.. 2017 New Year’s letter?
Cysero: Yeah, that thing you’re writing.
Cysero: We have banks coming, the first version.
Artix: Still coming….
Cysero: Should be in the next week and a half depending on when we get approval.
Cysero: I said that in the video, you should link them to the video.
Artix: I w….
Cysero: … and my voice is like a velvet hammer. Like a velvet trout… swimming its way into your heart… to clog it with velvet.
Artix: Is Ashfall starting next week?
Cysero: That depends on testing.
Cysero: There’s still some issues with the cutscene, but the quests all work.
Artix: The cutscene is the most fantastic thing in the game so far…
Cysero: It’s unbelievable what Korin did. If we can just make it work… it will be really impressive. It mostly works. There is just three of everyone right now.. For some reason.
Cysero: It’ll be our biggest release. Our most plot driven area. And no dungeons… yet.
Artix: If it is plot driven… then, I have been working on the car.
Cysero: The car?”
Artix: Yeah… cause.. It is “plot driven”
Cysero: *shakes head slowly* No. Try a driver joke Adam.
Thyton: *walks in*
Thyton: Nice shield! *pointing at Cysero’s Captain america shirt*
Thyton: My Captain america shirt smells like @#$%
Artix: How come?
Thyton: Because when you workout the sweat goes into your clothes. And when you wash it… and sweat more… which…
Cysero: Bring the shirt in. I bet I can fix it. With science.
Thyton: I would not mind smelling like pheromones all day.
Cysero: Nah, it will smell like sage and lavender.
Cysero: Bring it in.
Thyton: You're going to Tony Stark my captain america shirt….
Cysero: Tony Stank it.
Artix: So… we are writing the 2017 Happy New Years email, post, letter….
Thyton: Like a happy kind of thing?
Cysero: It’s a new year! We’re not going to talk about how awful last year was but how awesome next year will be.
Thyton: We should be happy about 2017 because the 7 is like a scythe killing the 6….
Cysero: Two thousand Scythe-teen?
Artix: I would talk more but I am trying to type all of this… maybe we should record it and transcribe.
Thyton: .. it was Al Sharpton, Jane Fonda, the columbine movie guy…
Cysero: Michael Moore?
Artix: Wait… I was typing, what are you guys talking about.
Thyton: There was a meme yesterday that said come on 2016… we still have a few days left.
Cysero: When you're trying to make 2016 kill people for you….
Artix: You know who did not die in 2016…
Cysero: He never dies.
Artix: No… D…
Thyton: You know I never liked Jason.
Thyton: Until I saw the most recent one where he was more realistic.
Cysero: You know… Jason vs Freddie was awesome.
Thyton: You know how he always ends up in front of you. Apparently he is a track star.
Thyton & Cysero: Chaa chaa chaa chaaa
Artix: I was really scared. It was a pretty rough year for the little guy. I really did not think he would make it through.
Cysero: Yeah, I am surprised he made it too.
Artix: We got him that surgery. Thankfully he is mostly back to normal now.
Artix: The rest of his hair will probably grow back when his summer coat comes in.
Cysero: So, on to 2017.
Cysero: What else we got coming? We got the server rewrite down in AQWorlds…
Artix: Did we?
Cysero: I think so. And we will FINALLY be taking the founders package out of BattleGems.
Artix: Oh my G…….. the BattleGems rewrite was harder than the AQWorlds one.
Cysero: They did have to rewrite the entire engine.
Artix: The big news for this year is that we are going to do the most important thing in the history of AQWorlds to AQWorlds….
Cysero: The most important thing?
Artix: It was too big a project so I hired another game studio to help us get started with it.
Artix: Converting AQWorlds to mobile and PC just like AdventureQuest 3D.
Cysero: I so would not even talk about that yet.
Artix: That is just because you have not been in on the planning meetings.
Cysero: No, that is because… well, do we have a prototype yet?
Artix: That is what they are working on.
Cysero: Yeah, THAT is why I would not talk about it yet. I have seen a lot of people not do what they were paid to do. Mostly on my trees.
Artix: It is imperative.
Cysero: I understand.
Artix: Needs to happen this year.
Cysero: I am fully behind it happening… waving both hands like flags, go team, but I would not talk about it yet.
Artix: OK, I will take that part out… *under breath* if I remember...
Cysero: You just typed that you were going to take it out, didn’t you?
Artix: It is almost… like you know me.
Cysero: *looking up to the heavens* Just hang on to it….
Cysero: You know, pregnant people don’t even talk about it unless they are three months in. And that’s a human life!
Artix: We are going to have moglin hats.
Cysero: Oh yeah, you are going to Anime Impulse.
Artix: I think this is going to be out first time premiering physical stuff at a convent….
*Artix noticed Cysero is on his phone not paying attention*
Cysero: They really like this bank preview.
Cysero: Like the vault icon I made?
Artix: Looks good.
* long awkward silence*
Artix: I talked to Zhoom about the combat changes we wanted last night.
Cysero: Good. Have you had that meeting with Korin yet?
Artix: No… was supposed to do it this week, but looks like we are running out of time.
Artix: It is my Birthday.
Cysero: Yeah, you're a prime number. I should bake you a cake.
Artix: If there was one thing… that we could do in 2017 that would change EVERYTHING… what would that be?
Cysero: Fix the combat bug.
Artix: What is the combat bug?
Cysero: If you are in combat, sometimes you cannot get out. Therefore you can’t do anything.
Artix: Obviously we are going to fix that. Something bigger….
Artix: One thing… to change everything.
Artix: No matter how hard it make sound. Like… make AdventureQuest 3D a top hit game.
Artix: … OK?
Cysero: Yeah, make it as big as Zelda or Minecraft.
Artix: If I only did one thing next year, that would be the best thing to do.
Cysero: Uh… yeah….. *in a Captain obvious tone* ….making a #1 hit video game WOULD be the best thing for a video game company to do.
Artix: But if I could do two, I would do the same for a mobile and PC expansion of AQWorlds.
Cysero: As long as you're doing it, why not just do it for all the games.
Cysero: Make every game a mega hit and a household name….
Artix: Is that a challenge?
Cysero: *is so surprised that he spits up with wide eyes* Uh… sure….
Artix: *looks up and raises a clenched fist* I BELIEVE….
Cysero: *is watching a video on his phone*
Artix: Are you watching Youtube?
Cysero: An Overwatch Mae snowball fight… *abruptly starts laughing at something happening on screen*
Artix: You know… a younger me might think it was impossible.
Artix: But really, what have we got to lose.
Artix: If we win, we will win big. If we lose no one will even care.
Artix: At the very worst… I will make AdventureQuest 3D many times better.
Artix: Gosh forbid we use that AQWorlds server rewrite and actually pull off a home run launching it on new platforms…. future proofing it from Flash.
*Cysero is still watching a video on his phone*
Artix: And what if we got such massive momentum that we could hire on more people and port over our other games too?
Artix: Yeah…. Why not? Why not go for it?
*Cysero is still watching a video on his phone*
Artix: So, OK… that is my New Year's Resolution.
Artix: 2017…. Where the 7 is a Scythe apparently…
Artix: We are going for it!
Artix: *to Cysero* So.. ready?
Cysero:” For what?
Also, happy birthday to Artix, Nythera and their friend Aersion (who flew in from Japan so they could celebrate their birthdays together)
Artix: Gather round the fire and let me tell you a story from a long, long, time…