Artix Krieger | Friday, March 31, 2017
Introducing Retro//VR, our cutting edge technology that converts your hot new cutting edge 3D games, in pixelated, limited color, old skewl 2D. (BONUS! See below for special free in-game item offer)
★★★★★ “A REAL GAME CHANGER… LITERALLY!” - Paper-Rock-Scissors
★★★★★ “This is stupid, why aren’t you making game stuff” - Social Media
★★★★★ “WTH!? Why did the guy above STILL give you 5 stars!?” - Newbie
For the price of a few full body transplants, you can own this sleek, stylish, and if I might add, quite attractive looking VR helmet for home and public use. Toggle on the Augmented Retro-Reality mode and see what your friends would look like if they were 8-bit.
★★★★★ “Great product! I am going to buy and recommend to my friends.” - Review Bot
★★★★★ “Why is every character in my Japanese import games in eskimo outfits?” - Otaku
★★ “WTH! Is this thing just launching AQWorlds every time someone tries to play MY game?” - Competitor Game Developer
FREE! Limited time only
To celebrate the launch of this world changing technology, we are offering ALL AQWorlds and AdventureQuest 3D players the in-game items included with this new product…. FREE!***
** In-game versions of the VR helmet allow your character to see and experience the game world in 2D if you are in 3D, or in 3D if you are in 2D. But just your character. Not you.
Equip your character with Retro//VR in game now! AdventureQuest Worlds is a Flash MMORPG at www.AQ.com
Pre-order your free box in game from Gaz in the Town of Battleon starting April 1st. AdventureQuest 3D is a free MMORPG on Steam (PC/Mac), Apple, and Android phones and tablets. www.AQ3D.com
Be sure your home computer has high enough hardware to support the massive computational power required to convert 3D games into 2D in REAL TIME!
...and that future, is weee bit more 2D than expected.
RetroVR may cause nausea, headaches, poor google search results, food to taste like certain colors, your tooth enamel may become sentient as the wireless AI interfaces with your body at a cellular level, relationship problems, toe enlargement, extreme need to use the restroom during dragon raids, 8-bit hallucinations, sweating, sweatering, sweetening, brain compression, DPS increase, increased attractiveness to people you already find attractive, interventions from friends, parents, and loss of job. If your video gaming lasts longer than 48 hours, please contact a doctor immediately-- or acknowledge that you may be trapped in a Sword Art Online or Dot-Hack scenario, in which case, let us all pray you are the main character and not a fodder worthy side-character who is doomed to not make it past episode 2.
Show us YOUR best moments converting 3D games to 2D. Use the template below. Tag your images on social media with #RetroVR so we can see and show them with other gaming fans!