This is why we don't let Artix make app icons anymore

Artix Krieger | Tuesday, December 11, 2018

This is a public apology for what happened on the @ArtixKrieger twitter today.

I do not know what they put in my coffee. But we need more of it. NOW! O_O Vesper is the one who made it.... maybe you should ask her. We want to spruce up the app and steam store with a new logo and trailer. Was having a bit of creative block... so I got cheesy.

Artix is cheesy app icon

I know what you are thinking. PERFECT. Right? But... then I started horsing around.

Brutal corn app icon

The rainbox matrix really brings out the dead cosmic glare of his unfocused brutalcorn eye. Then it was time to get serious.

Dont feed the drickens app store app icon

Robina, clearly did not read the "Do not feed the Drickens!" sign in the lobby. By looking at the above, you are probably thinking what I am thinking. That something is wrong... they are missing something. The obvious answer was "Santa Hat".

*sings* "You're so Vane, you probably think this game is about you" Players on Twitter had a momentary sigh of relief thinking... "oh thank goodness, we are finally getting somewhere."

"Well, that escalated quickly." But one player... COME ON... THERE IS ALWAYS THAT ONE PLAYER. Who demanded lazors....

I was reminded of those days as a high-schooler in the freezing cold, neck-high wintery snow drifts Pennslyvania. Back when I would defiantly shovel snow in my shorts. I did it ironically, without anyone watching. All this time I thought it was for no reason at all. But it turns out... it was to preumptively justify why Artix is shirtless in that last photo. (It is important to note that Artix [which is me... talking about myself in the 3rd person] is a legit goodie two shows who has never drank, nor smoked, nor done drugs....if you are going back through all of our previous game releases you are probably thinking to yourself... oh man... if they were like that, what if he had!?)

So then I took a screenshot of my phone and mocked up how the icons would look. But no one looked at the icons... they just studied my phone like some sort of internet forensics expert looking for my critical weakness. "Artix did you photoshop that email number in?" The answer is no. And please stop emailing me. Dage... with a large red imprint of his hand on his face from /facepalming after seeing the twitter posts went into super hero mode and saved us all.

Behold! The AdventureQuest 3D holiday app!

We love you Dage! Hang on... calling Vesper to see if she has any more of that coffee.

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