Fyremancer Festival

Artix Krieger | Monday, January 21, 2019

Fyremancer Festival Disaster!

Marketed as the "hottest" and most "lit" party of an un-life time, Fryremancer Festival was billed as a 10-level, immersive fire dungeon experience in paradise. Attendees would enjoy summoning diabolical new fire minions with popular musical acts, supermodels, and luxurious fire-themed dungeons on a remote volcanic island once owned by Xan the Pyromancer.

But young fire mages who paid millions of gold to fly on private dragons to the remote island only found chaos. When they arrived, the island was actually the snow-covered town of Frostvale in the far north, a town which had experienced a terrible blizzard only the day before. Attendees were forced to stay in tiny Moglin igloos that had been buried in snow. Worse yet, there was no security from frost monsters (the mortal enemy of the fire mage), food, nor mana. Live tweets from the site of the event turned its co-founders, Talyn the Dragonlord and popular raid boss monster Firezilla, into the laughingstocks of the internet.

In the aftermath of this frozen debacle, Fyremancer Festival was investigated by the Knights of Swordhaven. In a multi-class action hero raid, the co-founders were driven from Frostvale. "We did not even know Talyn had survived the end of the Ashfall saga", said an unnamed player of AdventureQuest 3D, "But we never saw a body.... You know they're coming back when you don't see a body."

Now, there are two documentaries on this disaster airing in competing theaters: "Fyremancer Festival: How the Flames Died Out" airing on Necroflix (the official theater house for Necromancers), and also "Fyrefall Fraud" which aired 6 days earlier on Cth'Hulu. Both go behind the scenes to show just where the flames fanned out.

AdventureQuest 3D developers may or may not pop online at random times today to recreate the tragic events that transpired through in-game LIVE Events. Artix will probably ask you retweet the giant orange square for shameless marketing when he does. Battle on!

(Inside joke spoiler: Just in case you didn't know... this post if a parody of the real life event, Fyre Festival, which now has documentaries on Netflix and Hulu)

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