"It is still the same great game that you love... but now with 9001% more Nicolas Cage."
Recently, we watched a documentary about how Nicolas Cage was almost Superman. It broke our hearts, seeing that movie not happen. We intend to rectify that wrong and center our games around our National Treasure, Nicolas Cage.
Battleon shall be renamed to City of Angels, and you shall be able to fly, which will be accessible through our new travel system, Con Air. Unless you’re undead, in which case, you’ll just be a Ghost Rider… Just don’t Drive Angry.
We realize this may be Inconceivable to those of you looking through the Looking Glass, but you have to put The Trust in us and be sure that no feature will be Left Behind. This is going to be The Best of Times.
Pictured above: "Cage the Evil" Poster
For you Undead fans, we’re going to be Bringing out the Dead, because the Vampire’s Kiss will now allow you to get married, and you can have your Honeymoon in Vegas. (Just be careful it’s not The Kiss of Death.)
Just like Peggy Sue Got Married after being Moonstruck while Leaving Las Vegas. You will be able to Face/Off again Amos & Andrew using Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, but you have to do it before it’s Gone in Sixty Seconds.
Also prepare for Special Musical Guest: Industrial Symphony No. 1: The Dream of the Brokenhearted. (Because God knows, we didn’t know how else to fit that in here!)